feeling anxious


because of the combination of too much coffee and good music, im in the mood to write. FINALLY. can't count how many times ive stared at this blinking cursor - or held my journal in my lap hoping for something to flow... but it never does.

and as cliche as it is, writing was just another part of me that deteriorated through the semester. for a number of reasons that shouldn't be important anymore. CANT be important. ridiculous how two semesters have enough power to change and shape - and now, after it's all over, im still gathering my footing after being dumped at the end of an emotional rollercoaster.

summer won't be as enchanting as all previous... friends seem more distant, and some just have plans elsewhere. i guess im realizing that i have a life somewhere other than taylorville - home is more of a check point... refreshing.

i guess this is growing up.

so, this summer. im saving money for school and the apartment, delving into the journal ive barely written in, recovering all the lost hours of sleep, and spending time with people ive spent an obnoxious amount of time missing.

thank God it's finally here.