coming home from work always makes me feel old. my back hurts, my feet ache, im exhausted, and i complain. i suffer through the entire shift just to savor the beautiful five minutes of sorting my tip money and summing a grand total. glorious.

after approaching a safe distance from last semester, i had planned to take the summer to relax and put myself back together. the last few months have been rough... and i feel like ive lost pieces of myself on the way. ive been meaning to write more. the blog is more intimidating - but ive stayed somewhat faithful to my black bound journal.

through the years, ive learned to depend on writing. it's easy to organize thoughts and rationalize emotions. seeing thoughts on the screen or paper allow them to make sense - and the exposure of a blog can be somewhat therapeutic.

im having mixed feelings about being home. as much as i like spending time with people i haven't seen in a long time, i feel almost out of place sometimes. i find myself thinking of how many more times i'll spend long term breaks on poplar street - how many more years until i completely realize im slowly moving on. and considering that some things havent flowed exactly the way i had planned, im a little disappointed. funny how one situation can cause a bitter taste in my mouth for an entire town.

needless to say, planless saturday nights remind me that the poplar street group has dispersed - along with other close friends. just when you think graduation alleviates you of such pains, growing up never ceases to kick you in the ass.

ok, enough, im excruciatingly tired.