Whelp...i was reading through my journals and I came across the entries I wrote about Haiti....and i thought i would post some of those. Maybe it's just for me because I wrote them, but it reminds me of the excitement and the anticipation and all the AWESOME things I remember as i was there.... Some of these are from my prayer journal...so they're written as prayers.
Monday - June 9, 2001
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! I'll be on my way to Haiti in five hours! Isn't that amazing? (yes it is) Lord Jesus, give me the strength to do this. I put EVERYTHING in your hands! Take care of my Lord. I trust all of my worries into your hands. Give me the power to speak your truth in Haiti. Help me set aside all of my selfish desires and focus only on you Lord, shake my life, and set my heart on fire. Keep all of us traveling under your wing and safe from all harm. I lay down my whole life for you, LORD! I leave my heart open to you. Fill my heart with your holy presence and saturate my body with your love. I ,love you so much Jesus...in His name, Amen.
I remember being so scared...right before we were leaving. That passage means so much to me, because i was really doubting whether or not i could really handle all the things i was about to see, but i totally set all that stuff aside and asked God to give me the strength to fulfill his will for my life. That's one thing I learned from Haiti....full faith -because that's what it took from me...my whole body believing that was what i was suppose to do.
Wednesday - June 11, 2001
Well I just woke up...the sun has started to rise....so I can barely see what I'm writing, I'll be very thankful for the light! You wake up dripping in sweat, hearing all kinds of noises -chickens or roosters, goats, occasional converse (can't understand it) between Seige and the kids. I love it. I love the kids here, the smiles on their faces when they see an American wave at them.
This entry isn't profound or the best written thing I've ever seen, but it's probably my favorite entry. The whole trip I wanted to record EACH moment, because I never wanted to forget. Every time I read this I'm taken back to that same spot on my cot....sleepy eyed, pitch black, Shannon sleeping beside me, sweat clinging to every inch of my body, realizing that i'm not at home....that's some of the most memorable moments of my life. The words aren't even written on the lines, because it was so dark and i couldn't see. I just see myself as a novice writer with a lack of words to describe a moment i wanted to cherish for the rest of my life.
Friday - July 13, 2001
There are so many things I've learned and realized on this trip so far. Most of which I can't put into words. As I'm sitting here on my cot by myself in the heat in the pitch dark, except for my flashlight, I'm starting to find it possible to live without the many things I thought were necessary. I'm learning to let God handle things - everything. I'm learning to have the faith that lasts throught bad conditions. I'm learning that there are no limits to what a person can do - if the creator of the universe is living inside of you. Seeing the people here and the way they live amazes me - in both good and bad ways. Of course the physical way is disgusting and sad...the spiritual way and attitude that they maintain is something to be admired. They have nothing, but are extremely content with themselves. The cling to God because there is nothing else stable. I envy that faith. I wonder if I'll ever forget the way things look, the way they smell down here. That's really scary. It's weird...I'm anxious to get home, but I don't want to leave. I miss my family, Seth, and even my animals. I even miss TAYLORVILLE. Isn't that annoying?
...no words...no words could explain ANYTHING down there. I still haven't found a way to properly describe everything. It's just these images burned in my mind -that i've tried so hard to show other people. Most Americans show pity to Haitians for their lack of electricity, clean water, medicine, etc... but they're the most happy and content people i've ever come across....they have never had anything...so they're life isn't polluted with objects that mean nothing. In some ways I envy that life.... And, I'd be happy to inform my 'past self' - that NO, I still haven't forgotten the way it looks or the way it smelled.
Monday - July 16, 2001
Well...it's our last day in Haiti. We leave tomorrow morning. I have mixed feelings about it all. I've learned a lot in a week, and it's kind of hard to absorb it all. It's crazy to think I'm actually here, and it's actually over. The VBS's were great - and a lot more impacting than I thought they would be. It's all so crazy. I haven't really written a lot about it, because there is nothing to write. It's all so hard to explain. I don't know how to describe all that I've seen and felt this week. I suppose I'll always remember all of this, I hope I do. someday i might be back to Haiti, but I don't know if to these same spots. I'm afraid I'm going to forget. correction: not remember (hehe) I'm really looking forward to getting home though. It's insane to think I might see Seth tomorrow I wonder if he'll be at the airport...I wonder if he's changed....for good or bad. I guess i'll find out soon..........real soon.
The last day entry.........*sigh*.....so many mixed emotions. I remember being on the front porch of the house when I wrote that. Two little faces peering through the metal bars. We couldn't talk...but the language barrier didn't do ANYTHING to inhibit our communication. They watched me every second they had....and i watched them. We were amazed by each other. As i was writing I would look up every few moments and see them watchig my pen gliding across the paper....it was beautiful...haiti was beautiful. i'll never forget the emotions I had as I was getting off the plane....waiting to see who was going to be greeting me as I walked onto american soil... he wasn't there.
-------
So those were just some of my favorite entries. And, I know they're not the best written things in the world.....but it was an experience that meant everything to me. I want other people to be able to experience what I did.
.......it was beautiful.........
Monday - June 9, 2001
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! I'll be on my way to Haiti in five hours! Isn't that amazing? (yes it is) Lord Jesus, give me the strength to do this. I put EVERYTHING in your hands! Take care of my Lord. I trust all of my worries into your hands. Give me the power to speak your truth in Haiti. Help me set aside all of my selfish desires and focus only on you Lord, shake my life, and set my heart on fire. Keep all of us traveling under your wing and safe from all harm. I lay down my whole life for you, LORD! I leave my heart open to you. Fill my heart with your holy presence and saturate my body with your love. I ,love you so much Jesus...in His name, Amen.
I remember being so scared...right before we were leaving. That passage means so much to me, because i was really doubting whether or not i could really handle all the things i was about to see, but i totally set all that stuff aside and asked God to give me the strength to fulfill his will for my life. That's one thing I learned from Haiti....full faith -because that's what it took from me...my whole body believing that was what i was suppose to do.
Wednesday - June 11, 2001
Well I just woke up...the sun has started to rise....so I can barely see what I'm writing, I'll be very thankful for the light! You wake up dripping in sweat, hearing all kinds of noises -chickens or roosters, goats, occasional converse (can't understand it) between Seige and the kids. I love it. I love the kids here, the smiles on their faces when they see an American wave at them.
This entry isn't profound or the best written thing I've ever seen, but it's probably my favorite entry. The whole trip I wanted to record EACH moment, because I never wanted to forget. Every time I read this I'm taken back to that same spot on my cot....sleepy eyed, pitch black, Shannon sleeping beside me, sweat clinging to every inch of my body, realizing that i'm not at home....that's some of the most memorable moments of my life. The words aren't even written on the lines, because it was so dark and i couldn't see. I just see myself as a novice writer with a lack of words to describe a moment i wanted to cherish for the rest of my life.
Friday - July 13, 2001
There are so many things I've learned and realized on this trip so far. Most of which I can't put into words. As I'm sitting here on my cot by myself in the heat in the pitch dark, except for my flashlight, I'm starting to find it possible to live without the many things I thought were necessary. I'm learning to let God handle things - everything. I'm learning to have the faith that lasts throught bad conditions. I'm learning that there are no limits to what a person can do - if the creator of the universe is living inside of you. Seeing the people here and the way they live amazes me - in both good and bad ways. Of course the physical way is disgusting and sad...the spiritual way and attitude that they maintain is something to be admired. They have nothing, but are extremely content with themselves. The cling to God because there is nothing else stable. I envy that faith. I wonder if I'll ever forget the way things look, the way they smell down here. That's really scary. It's weird...I'm anxious to get home, but I don't want to leave. I miss my family, Seth, and even my animals. I even miss TAYLORVILLE. Isn't that annoying?
...no words...no words could explain ANYTHING down there. I still haven't found a way to properly describe everything. It's just these images burned in my mind -that i've tried so hard to show other people. Most Americans show pity to Haitians for their lack of electricity, clean water, medicine, etc... but they're the most happy and content people i've ever come across....they have never had anything...so they're life isn't polluted with objects that mean nothing. In some ways I envy that life.... And, I'd be happy to inform my 'past self' - that NO, I still haven't forgotten the way it looks or the way it smelled.
Monday - July 16, 2001
Well...it's our last day in Haiti. We leave tomorrow morning. I have mixed feelings about it all. I've learned a lot in a week, and it's kind of hard to absorb it all. It's crazy to think I'm actually here, and it's actually over. The VBS's were great - and a lot more impacting than I thought they would be. It's all so crazy. I haven't really written a lot about it, because there is nothing to write. It's all so hard to explain. I don't know how to describe all that I've seen and felt this week. I suppose I'll always remember all of this, I hope I do. someday i might be back to Haiti, but I don't know if to these same spots. I'm afraid I'm going to forget. correction: not remember (hehe) I'm really looking forward to getting home though. It's insane to think I might see Seth tomorrow I wonder if he'll be at the airport...I wonder if he's changed....for good or bad. I guess i'll find out soon..........real soon.
The last day entry.........*sigh*.....so many mixed emotions. I remember being on the front porch of the house when I wrote that. Two little faces peering through the metal bars. We couldn't talk...but the language barrier didn't do ANYTHING to inhibit our communication. They watched me every second they had....and i watched them. We were amazed by each other. As i was writing I would look up every few moments and see them watchig my pen gliding across the paper....it was beautiful...haiti was beautiful. i'll never forget the emotions I had as I was getting off the plane....waiting to see who was going to be greeting me as I walked onto american soil... he wasn't there.
-------
So those were just some of my favorite entries. And, I know they're not the best written things in the world.....but it was an experience that meant everything to me. I want other people to be able to experience what I did.
.......it was beautiful.........
