She opens her eyes to the bright shining sun,
Another day, she thinks, has now begun.
Her heart weighs heavy, her eyes lie worn,
Her life in shambles, trampled and torn.

"Where are you now?", she whispers to the light,
She shouldn't cry, but she thinks she might.
"Will you stop by, will you come to my door?",
"...or forget me again, as you have done before?"

Failing to keep him from her mind,
From her love she cannot be blind.
Joints ache with memories of him,
his laugh, touch, and every whim.

Lying with the dew sparkling bright,
welcoming in the warm sunlight,
She will push the thoughts far away,
And prepare herself for a new day.

Alone she will trudge through the cruel world,
a stifled soul in a body twisted and curled.
This place without him fills her with fright,
but, somehow she knows it will all be alright.

---*sigh*--- i didn't follow many rules, but i think it gets the point across....

I kind of glided throught the halls today at school...i was in one of those nostalgic moods -kind of like walking around in a memory. Why? hah...This time of year always tears me up, of course it does, it tears up a lot of people. Because, somewhere in the back of all of our minds -we know that we won't pass the same people in the halls next year...we wont have that "lunchroom bond".....all those things are ending...

Not that it's a bad thing...every time something ends, something new begins, right? yeah. Sure i'll still call 'the seniors' seniors even though they'll be freshmen in college -cuz in my mind, they'll always be the cool older people -but they'll acquire a different kind of coolness when i don't see them everyday...kind of like that distant coolness.

I guess what I'm getting at....

We'll all be different people next year....in different places....running into the future -diving head first...We'll all be trying to figure something out....searching for something....discovering something - and to think, my class is the next to be shipped out....it gives me these chills - like "wow, already?" - people always said that high school went fast...but this fast?

Life goes too fast...like ferris bueller showed us - sometimes you just gotta stop and catch it before it gets away.

Am I sad because seniors are moving on, or because I'm being left behind?

"...what it all boils down to my friends, yeah, is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet, but i got one hand in my pocket and the other playing a piano."

(give me a break guys- semesters are tomorrow)

----by the way----- i'm not in love with him.

I think summer may be here....it's been hanging around in the shadows lately, not sure whether to come out or not...but i've been getting hints that it's almost time for it to fully reveal itself....for instance - I have gotten the extreme urge to boycott shoes (which was spurred by mario's dramatic stunt at school the other day), i hardly ever blow dry my hair, and EVERYTHING is fun again...no other explanation will appease it - it's definitely, no doubt, the beginning of summer.... everyone knows it's not just another season -it's a stinkin' state of mind!

Summer is dangling your feet out the car window, summer is falling in love, summer is having dirty feet and a kool-aid mustache all at the same time.....it's forgetting about all the things that tie us down and "going with the flow" -or at least that's the way it is for me. Summer has never let me down... and I know it'll be hard to live up to last's years FREAKING AWESOME memories....but, with the hellacious year that i've had, nothing would be better than complete freedom from all the evil things that school invades our minds with. augh. i can't wait.

....and then there's always July 13....

i should be in haiti. everything reminds me of it....and for some reason i feel like i'm missing out. I left almost a year ago and I still haven't tired of telling people my unending amount of stories...but, I can never fully portray the inpact it left on me.....I'm the person I am now because of spending time there....indescribable. There is SO much world out there...and we're stuck in this little town without a speck of diversity...the moment i stepped off the crowded plane and this humid wave of heat engulfed my face, I knew that I would be traveling for the rest of my life.... Something about this world fascinates me... how the way a life is constantly shifting over each sea and over each mountain...it's something a person can never learn to grasp. Definitely a "i'm not the only person in the world" time... on of my best memories of haiti was on a lookout on the mountain- you could see EVERYTHING! I remember just looking out over this...and feeling so small...and so big....like, I DID THIS...i'm in haiti...because of God! wow. what a feeling. There so much to understand and so much to discover....it just caused me to drop my jaw and stare into the skies and thank God for the wonderful world He created for us to live in...

...but then again, God has always been good at causing my jaw to drop...


.......i'm ready for you mr. summertime - bring it on. i know i'm not the only one who needs the freedom --bring on the cookouts, swimming pools, and best friends-- it's time to make up for a stressful year...it's time to catch up with myself....it's time to laugh about nothing......and just as sure as my confirmation receipt for my first order of CHA74 merchandise, SUMMER IS HERE!!!!