oh, im just so tired of reading psychology.
thank you, spring. im trying not to grow too attached to the weather, but as the days continue to be nice, and the time between me and summer grows shorter, i can't help but fall in love with everything and everyone.
it's ridiculous how my mood corresponds with the temperature. maybe i should live somewhere with nice weather all year, just because winter seems to bring down my spirits. damn you, illinois.
and, hopefully things are pulling back together. i went to talk to the human development & family studies advisor yesterday, and i left hopeful. strangely enough, im attracted to majors requiring an application process... so next semester will probably bring the same stress that the music application brought - minus an embarrassing audition. however, my grades are beautiful, my classes up to par, and i will whip out a personal narrative beyond belief. and as im tossing the thought around, im beginning to get excited about the whole thing.
the idea of adoption was spurred by a video we watched in sociology... but after taking the thought home and the dramatic fall through of the music ordeal, i let it linger a little more. and, it makes me think of haiti. after leaving, i always swore i had to circle my life around something, anything to help kids who NEED. and of course, as with all other things, priorities change, things SHIFT.
and i don't know. i mean, i just DONT. it's ironic how things have changed. how, a few months ago, i thought right now id be finally "complete" with an acceptance letter from the music school. now, im just reevaluating why i even wanted any of that in the first place. i mean, did i just get caught up in the emotion? in the fact that everyone else was proud of me for "chasing my dreams?" did i ever even WANT to be a teacher?
and the thought of working with kids, in any way, makes me excited. ive been imagining myself counseling families in haiti, working in adoption centers... making the difference that i thought possible as a sophomore in high school. maybe im not as Christianly-perfect as i was then, but, maybe sergeline's and eldeane's faces haunt for a reason.
augh. and i don't know. i don't claim any solutions yet. just something to be optimistic about.
sigh.
thank you, spring. im trying not to grow too attached to the weather, but as the days continue to be nice, and the time between me and summer grows shorter, i can't help but fall in love with everything and everyone.
it's ridiculous how my mood corresponds with the temperature. maybe i should live somewhere with nice weather all year, just because winter seems to bring down my spirits. damn you, illinois.
and, hopefully things are pulling back together. i went to talk to the human development & family studies advisor yesterday, and i left hopeful. strangely enough, im attracted to majors requiring an application process... so next semester will probably bring the same stress that the music application brought - minus an embarrassing audition. however, my grades are beautiful, my classes up to par, and i will whip out a personal narrative beyond belief. and as im tossing the thought around, im beginning to get excited about the whole thing.
the idea of adoption was spurred by a video we watched in sociology... but after taking the thought home and the dramatic fall through of the music ordeal, i let it linger a little more. and, it makes me think of haiti. after leaving, i always swore i had to circle my life around something, anything to help kids who NEED. and of course, as with all other things, priorities change, things SHIFT.
and i don't know. i mean, i just DONT. it's ironic how things have changed. how, a few months ago, i thought right now id be finally "complete" with an acceptance letter from the music school. now, im just reevaluating why i even wanted any of that in the first place. i mean, did i just get caught up in the emotion? in the fact that everyone else was proud of me for "chasing my dreams?" did i ever even WANT to be a teacher?
and the thought of working with kids, in any way, makes me excited. ive been imagining myself counseling families in haiti, working in adoption centers... making the difference that i thought possible as a sophomore in high school. maybe im not as Christianly-perfect as i was then, but, maybe sergeline's and eldeane's faces haunt for a reason.
augh. and i don't know. i don't claim any solutions yet. just something to be optimistic about.
sigh.
