Sunday, May 04, 2003

I had one of my first "lasts" today...

oh you know, lasts, they hit seniors this time of the year. I think we all pretend like they're not going to happen, and that the "G" word simply passes like in a made-for-TV-teen-movie, where all the characters simply rent an apartment and live happily ever after... I'm still hoping actually. Unfortunately, my "lasts" are here...

NINE years... NINE years...

wow.

...i never gave her much credit, i guess. what do you say to someone who has taught you everything about the one thing in the world that has set you free? well, there isn't anything to say. I can still remember the first time i crawled on top of the infamous black bench, imagining this old, frail woman with spiraling gray hair and blue eyeshadow. i was wrong...

I swear her looks have not changed a bit through all the years i've known her... small, wears glasses, and is always dressed up... and her hands.... piano hands.

strong fingers, deliberate, precise with a mind of their own.... perfect. ever since i was little, i always hoped my hands would someday look like that....i always hoped as i got better, maybe they would transform, as if that measured your abilities...hehehehehe....that'd be awesome.

and today...
i sat on the bench for the last time.
i didn't have to adjust it today, i've grown into it...
the top was lifted on the brown baby grand...
my hands shook, and i don't know if it was because i was nervous...or because i knew that would be my last time running my fingers across those keys.

and today....for the last song, we played our duet.
my hands next to hers....teacher next to student....
and while approaching the last measure.....i experienced my first "last"

...a small little girl started lessons last year...today was her FIRST recital....
it's weird... i could see my nine years flash before my eyes..
i hope she sticks with it.


anyways, my maccaroni and cheese is ready.