Yesterday was just one of those days...augh. Something drags you down into that dreaded hole, and you spend the whole freaking day searching for a way out... Sooner or later you give up on the idea of escaping and decide to tunnel a passage way to another friend's hole...only to find it empty- they're out of their hole for the time being. I hate the stinking hole. I made a record this year for time being spent in my hole... i think i might have actually even dug it a little deeper...it was just a bad year.

Usually i have enough pizzazz to battle the tang that comes against me during the day...but not this time. It was a full blow. I think the bubble wrap fell off of my heart, and I started to remember things... Which is the worth thing that could happen when you have just learned to forget. Not the bad stuff...the good stuff -which kills me the most. Man, I wish i could blog about it all -but i just don't know how that would work out. I'm not all about throwing my heat into the hands of anyone willing to read... but sometimes I wish i were. Maybe it would do some good....but for now.....maybe not. So, into the hole I fell.....................ouch -it hurts to hit bottom.

...so, i cleaned my room. A direct order from my mother, but I had to admit that the clutter was starting to bother me too. So i grabbed a trash bag from under the sink, with an anticipation of throwing things away. Because, GOD, it feels good to throw things away. Clothes were piled on my hope chest....so i started to pile them into my drawers... at least they're out of the way now. Under them are all types of letters from colleges, senior picture forms, and other mail that I promise myself I'll go through someday....I begin to pile it somewhere too.....wishing i could just throw it away. Cleaning my room is one of my "open-mind times". Like in the shower or driving my car, my mind just seems to be more open, more willing to understand things... Maybe it's the fact that my radio was on, because every time the radio is on I feel like i'm in a movie- therefore, my mind becomes dramatic. Me and my conflicting emotions, cleaning my room....falling farther in the hole was inevitable. If I could tell myself to NOT feel the way that I do, this would be a little less confusing... and I can fool myself for a little while, until something pops up and tangs me away...then they come back. I argue with myself, the brain vs the heart....with, of course, the heart always winning. But, GOD, it feels good to throw things away. Sometimes I wonder if the heaviness will ever lift off my chest.....if this hole is really just a bottomless pit...

...But that's life...and it's so much easier to just battle with those thoughts all day. However, I've learned that being optomistic is the only way to make it through those times. I have faith in love and in this life and in GOD....so it should all work itself out. Like me in Kristen proclaim.....................Just let it happen, deal with life as it happens....and try to figure it out later. However, it's so hard to take your own advice.

...So the hole....Of course, nothing a night out with the stars or a game of Half-Life couldn't cure....it did cure. Pizzazz threw the ladder down the hole and rescued it's reber. And, I just let go...why not, right? Because, GOD, it feels good to throw things away. I'll re-bubble wrap my heart and hope that the weight won't hurt the packaging this time...

My room is a lot cleaner...........I feel refreshed with a clean room.

"...you think i'm joking! NO! You think mario's hug was long? No, I'll hold you forever and i'll NEVER let go. You're not going anywhere without me..."

"...i'll see you tomorrow...."

This weekend was awesome... it was a 'weird' awesome...it was a summer weekend, despite the fact that i'm two semester tests away from summer. But, for once it wasn't raining....it was hot outside, which made me really happy!

Saturday started out on the tandum bike -bike made for two- Imagine this....the Rebers cruising through town on the magical "two-seater", spreading joy and happiness to the citizens of our humble community....it was awesome! We got so many comments and cackles! "Hey Doublemint twins!", "Is there a third seat for me?", "Is that thing hard to ride?" However, some people would just throw their arms into the air and yell, "REBERS!!" -and we would wave back, our balance completely unshifted, because we are tandum bike pros. I even saw some of my family that I haven't hung around in months....it was an eventful afternoon! Tandum bikes = pizzazz!

Then there was a slight dry spell- our "third wheel" jumped on board...lol, our wonderful little clay. We went and got some ice cream! I was pleased with my pint of lemon ice cream, clayton had his blizzard, my bro had some cotton candy flavor burst...but, kristen! She had the best work of art of them all -created by the weirdo guy too! - it was a banana split! A beautiful three mounds of ice cream topped with all kinds of crap..........and it was delicous....However, it gave kristen this killer stomach ache which eventually led to her demise.....that's right guys, she had to go home.

So that left me n Clay...we got this bright idea to go to Sanchris lake with my doggies! We spent four hours there goofing around...playing around. We sat in all the cool places and all the cool benches and talked about all the things that we should do this summer (fishing, boating, camping, etc) - We talked about how awesome the sunset would look, and added it to our "make out spot" list -which of course consists of spots strictly NOT meant for making out! :) haha. My dog dove into the water -which was awesome...It made me happy to see my dog swimming toward her floating glow in the dark ball. However, Gus, the new puppy, wasn't enthusiastic and sat down and slept a lot -that's okay, cuz he's really cute. :)

We had fun, kind of the hard to explain fun.... Relaxing with a best friend and my dogs has got to be as close to paradise as a person in the midwest can achieve.

Instead of driving towards home, we drove away from home... just so we could drive into the sunset. Sounds cheesy, huh? Well, sometimes the biggest cheese in life makes the best memories! We never did turn around to go back home, just kept driving into the sunset, for some reason, we felt all free...maybe it was because the windows were rolled down or the fact that we didn't have to wear jackets that day...who knows, but it felt good to just keep driving....into the sunset, into the unknown. Lying back with my feet propped up by the window, music filtering through the speakers, Sandy's head out the window, Gus's face scrunched, Clayton's arm on my head.....I thought to myself.....does life really get any better than this? All while driving into the sunset......................wow, what a memory.

....so we just kept driving....

...we didn't stop either! We ended up in Chatham...where I have never been before. Miraculously found a road that led to auburn, which led to 104 - which would get us home. Home. home makes me happy- and there were dogs in the back seat (mind you, a dog that has jumped into the lake!)

...I guess i just love road trips...

I guess this weekend made things look promising, summer will be awesome this year, no doubt about it.