twilight
im in this new place.
im sure this is one of those life moments, where things begin to come together - a future, or something like it, begins to lay itself out. a month ago, i was unsure. now, i have two years planned.
ive had trouble sleeping lately. maybe stress, maybe excitement, maybe worry. it reminds me of my senior year of high school, when i never slept. i stayed up writing, listening to music, talking to friends online - i was miserable most school days - but i was excited, for the future that was about to happen. college, freedom, away from taylorville.
now, it's chicago and grad school. come graduation, i'll be setting off for the city, something ive always wanted, but never thought would happen. i worry about having enough money for rent, paying for school, filing financial aid in time, securing roommates, subleasing my apartment, etc, etc. -- but, underneath all that, i am beyond excited.
starting over is always an exciting prospect, and after this past year, the timing is almost cinematic. the october-january stretch was a difficult one, including my parents splitting, micah disappearing, and a intoxicated week in taylorville. ive been coping for so long, that ive forgotten what it feels like to coast. may is a destination, a hope, my dream.
i love right now. although sleepy, encouraging. i had forgotten what it feels like to have romantic notions of the future. a summer in the city, maybe i'll be lonely, maybe i'll be in love. can't wait to scrounge money for morning coffees, complain about grad school, and walk down crowded streets.
"Tangerines are hanging heavy, glowing marigolden hues,
Teasing a half-pale moon
And I feel a pull to the blue-velvet dark and stars"
im sure this is one of those life moments, where things begin to come together - a future, or something like it, begins to lay itself out. a month ago, i was unsure. now, i have two years planned.
ive had trouble sleeping lately. maybe stress, maybe excitement, maybe worry. it reminds me of my senior year of high school, when i never slept. i stayed up writing, listening to music, talking to friends online - i was miserable most school days - but i was excited, for the future that was about to happen. college, freedom, away from taylorville.
now, it's chicago and grad school. come graduation, i'll be setting off for the city, something ive always wanted, but never thought would happen. i worry about having enough money for rent, paying for school, filing financial aid in time, securing roommates, subleasing my apartment, etc, etc. -- but, underneath all that, i am beyond excited.
starting over is always an exciting prospect, and after this past year, the timing is almost cinematic. the october-january stretch was a difficult one, including my parents splitting, micah disappearing, and a intoxicated week in taylorville. ive been coping for so long, that ive forgotten what it feels like to coast. may is a destination, a hope, my dream.
i love right now. although sleepy, encouraging. i had forgotten what it feels like to have romantic notions of the future. a summer in the city, maybe i'll be lonely, maybe i'll be in love. can't wait to scrounge money for morning coffees, complain about grad school, and walk down crowded streets.
"Tangerines are hanging heavy, glowing marigolden hues,
Teasing a half-pale moon
And I feel a pull to the blue-velvet dark and stars"
